Aint This But A Bitch? 17 June 2025

     Hey, remember how, back in the day, I swore I would never go back to Sorrento Cucina Due because their counter help took a shitty attitude with me that one time?
    No? I never actually mentioned that? In fact, my last official review of them was favorable? Sure, it was loaded full of dick and ball jokes but it was favorable.
    But also check the date on that review. That was seven years ago. Or, to be accurate, six years, six months, and five days ago, optionally stated as two thousand three hundred seventy nine days. It has been six and a half years since I either visited or felt compelled to write about "The Due" because of precisely one incident:

... I asked, I think innocently enough, if they could do a chicken parm sub and the lady behind the counter said no and I thanked her and left and I heard her talk shit to another customer, "Don't try to order something not on the menu, then."

    "Charlie," you say, "never going back to a skyway eatery because the lady at the counter got lippy with you for trying to order something that they could have easily accommodated because they have chicken parmesan and they have buns and they have tongs with which to place the chicken parmesan in the bun and ladles with which to apply the marinara to the chicken parmesan in the bun and ten fingers with which they can use on the register to just ring you up for a meatball sub or the chicken parm platter, whichever is easiest for them seems a titch petty."
    To that statement and to their cold vegetables, I blow a lip fart.
    Yeah, looking back on it, they actually kind of sucked and I can't fathom why I ever recommended them. I can't even offer any speculation to that. And, look, I know all vendors talk shit about their customers but most have the decency to do it when the customer is out of earshot. (Sorrento apparently does not.) Some are even so good at what they do that they don't have to talk shit about their customers to big up themselves. (Sorrento is not.)
    ANYhoo, the Chicken Parm Sub Incident of (I'm Assuming) Twenty Nineteen was (along with the constantly cold sautéed veggies and the manager always trying to upsell me on shit) the reason why I never returned. So you know this caught my attention on my way back to the office from a Red Bull run.    Yeah, not only do they have a chicken parm sub now, the chicken parm sub overshadows their meatball sub and sausage sandwich.
    And before you ask, no, I will not be going there in the name of research.