OK, so twenty twenty six in Minneapolis started off... rocky. If you paid attention to the news at all, you could probably figure out that nobody was in the mood to, say, write a sandwich blog. I'm not even sure I'm in the mood for it now but I'm at the office with an hour and a half left and nothing to do. Seriously, there's no work to be done. So... I mean I guess, like, it was either this or watch Tubi on my phone.
¯\_(ツ)_/¯
Wally's Roast Beef, 19 January 2026
Yeah, not totally sure I can tell you how much I lurve Wally's again. Kath takes me every year on my birthday, just about the only time she can be convinced to drive down to Bloomington. You can't even convince this woman to go to IKEA. But every year, on my birthday, she takes me to Wally's Roast Beef to watch me commit culinary harakiri with the horseradish.
Oh and just to go off on an unrelated tangent, harakiri is not pronounced "harry carry". This is pronounced harry carry:
To be fair, I'm not sure what I do to myself with the horseradish at Wally's doesn't involve him.
Go to Bloomington and give them your money.
Freshii, 5 February 2026
First time I went in there was during the pandemic - Remember those simpler times? - and the lady working there, in the place, in the physical location, made me place my order via video call with a dude on a tablet. Failing to see how this made any sense, I turned around and left.
But I finally gave them a shot last month because, this time, a different lady was working there and she took my order. I got the Oaxaca, listed on their menu as:
But I finally gave them a shot last month because, this time, a different lady was working there and she took my order. I got the Oaxaca, listed on their menu as:
Enjoy a fresh and flavourful mix of brown rice, nutrient-dense kale, creamy avocado, tangy beet slaw, black beans, and sweet corn, paired with salsa fresca and crispy wontons. Wrapped in a whole wheat tortilla and topped with a spicy yogurt sauce for a deliciously balanced burrito bursting with textures and colours.
I kept it vegetarian because they charge like two or three dollars for meat. I also held off on the rice or quinoa option because the tortilla is enough for the grain / carb element. I might get it again. I'm not in a hurry to. The beet slaw dripped on my pants so I had red stains on them for a minute.
Champa Cafe, 27 February and 3 March 2026
On my first visit to Champa, they didn't have the sandwiches ready yet, told me they would be up at eleven. (I think I was there at a quarter after ten.) I said OK and told the lady I'd be back at eleven and came back at eleven and the lady said, "Hey, thanks for coming back!"
And I was like, "I got you, boo," but the way Rihanna does it.
Yeah, like that.
I got the Italian, which is just salami, pepperoni, calabrese, provolone, and aioli on a baguette. No dressing, no tomatoes or peppers, no shredduce. Got to tell you, I wasn't mad about it. Cost me nine fifty, came with my choice of kettle chips. I got salt & vinegar. Not a bad deal at all. In the fucking skyway? Come on. That any skyway place is letting go of a sandwich with chips for under ten beans is universe imploding.
I went back four days later and got the ham & cheese - ham, muenster...
No, the cheese. Muenster cheese, you dicktit.
... and aioli - with some salt & vinegar chips and that was only seven fifty and, you know, ham & cheese isn't as exciting as an Italian but, again, this is a sandwich with a side in the skyway for less than ten beans. If you work downtown, I encourage you to give them your money. Unless you really like paying twenty dollars for a sandwich with no side. I mean, dude, this should really be a no-brainer for you.
My Huong Kitchen, 28 February 2026
You know? I really don't want to talk about all that traumatic bullshit we lived through here but, I don't know, here we go, I guess.
You know what? No. No, I don't want to say the name of that gestapo ass organization. Fuck 'em. So let's just skip right over all that and say that the owner of My Huong Kitchen opened her doors to people getting tear-gassed. My dumb ass never put two and two together that "Oh! That's her!" when I saw the video but then I did and I told Kath I wanted to give this woman my money. So we went on a Saturday and the place was jumping. I believe Kath got the grilled chicken broken rice and I got a banh mi, lemongrass chicken as per the owner's recommendation. It was - and I'm not just saying this - probably the best banh mi I've had in a long time. I even asked for the bread recipe but she has the bread shipped in. The bread was light and fluffy with the right amount of flaky crust on the outside, the pickled veggies were appropriately sweet, the chicken... Well, that tasted like chicken, you know how chicken is.
You know what? No. No, I don't want to say the name of that gestapo ass organization. Fuck 'em. So let's just skip right over all that and say that the owner of My Huong Kitchen opened her doors to people getting tear-gassed. My dumb ass never put two and two together that "Oh! That's her!" when I saw the video but then I did and I told Kath I wanted to give this woman my money. So we went on a Saturday and the place was jumping. I believe Kath got the grilled chicken broken rice and I got a banh mi, lemongrass chicken as per the owner's recommendation. It was - and I'm not just saying this - probably the best banh mi I've had in a long time. I even asked for the bread recipe but she has the bread shipped in. The bread was light and fluffy with the right amount of flaky crust on the outside, the pickled veggies were appropriately sweet, the chicken... Well, that tasted like chicken, you know how chicken is.
There's a new place in town that has the brass fucking balls to charge fourteen dollars for a banh mi. I haven't been there. Man, motherfucking Kafe Nasty hasn't been there. Why would anybody pay fourteen worked-for dollars for a banh mi when they can get the best banh mi for nine at My Huong Kitchen? Give My Huong Kitchen your money.
Still Grind Coffee, I don't fucking remember when
PHOTOGRAPHIC EVIDENCE UNAVAILABLE
I stopped in on a whim to grab a sandwich but the only appetizing looking sandwiches they had were breakfast sandwiches. I don't remember what mine was called, something like The Trapper or The Lumberjack or something. It was sausage, hashbrown, and cheese. It took a minute for big homie to make it. I thanked him, tipped him, tipped on out the door, got a couple yards from the place, pulled the sandwich from the bag and immediately asked, out loud, "Why is it fucking wet???"
In fairness, it was more damp than wet but it was damp because this sandwich was microwaved. Sure, in stages so the bread wouldn't go rubbery but still, it was microwaved. That's what big homie was doing back in the kitchen. Microwaving.
I don't know, maybe they make good coffee. I'm not recommending the sandwiches, though.
I don't know, maybe they make good coffee. I'm not recommending the sandwiches, though.
Burger King, 25 March 2026
So, this weekend, I had to do a thing that involved seeing an old college buddy of mine. He owns his own business down by the Burger King on Hiawatha, aka the good Burger King. No, for real, the other Burger Kings, all their buns are hard as hockey pucks. I will admit, though, that the good Burger King usually has some ne'er-do-wells stalking about the parking lot.
Anyway, big homie says, "Dude, this Burger King here is so sketchy."
I tell him, "I don't mind it."
His eyes go wide. "You don't?"
"No, I'm there all the time."
He laughs. "You're there all the time??"
Yeah, guys, it was like a fucking echo. I tell him, "Well, on the weekends, when I'm out on a bike ride, if I can't think of anyplace more interesting to go, I take West River Parkway to Minnehaha Creek to the Chain of Lakes and the Burger King is right there so I stop in and grab a cheeseburger."
Dude is really laughing at this. "What do you order?"
"A cheeseburger."
He says, "Wow."
I think, "Fuck you, you Lego head bitch."
No, his head really looks like a Lego head.
Anyway, I wanted to stop by the Trylon after work yesterday and grab a schedule and figured that since I was down that way, I would stop into the Burger King and try this new and improved Whopper that is blowing up on social media right now. According to news.bk.com, these are the changes they made:
The higher-quality Whopper experience includes a more premium, better tasting bun, served in a box to ensure it makes it to Guests exactly the way it left the kitchen. Stacked tall with freshly cut onions and tomatoes, crisp lettuce, tangy pickles, and better tasting mayo, every Whopper is crafted to deliver the flame-grilled flavor Guests expect – now elevated from the first bite to the last.
It tasted like a Whopper. You remember what the old Whopper tasted like? Yeah, it tastes like that. But it comes in a cute box now.
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