Hamburguesas El Gordo, 5 July 2020, but first a June Lightning Round

I really don't have an intro for this. Going out right now is pretty irresponsible, I know, and my old lady and I are doing our part to maintain our distance, keep our masks on, stay in the car when and where we can. (Which would normally mean sticking with Arby's but the last Arby's in Minneapolis was burned to to the ground along with the third precinct.) So here's what we have had.

	Chicago Taste Authority, 13 June 2020 I had the Chicago dog, Kath had the chili dog, and we split a cheese fry. Kath said hers was alright, I thought mine was alright, and I liked that they didn't skimp on the cheese for the fries. I mean we had a cup of cheese left over. So that was cool.
	Pancho Villa, 19 June 2020 This one was fucking scary. First of all, aint nobody was fucking distancing outside. Secondly, we go into pick up our order and homie at the front points us to a table in the back and says we can just match up our receipt to one of the bags. (Because he was so overwhelmed with the six customers inside and ten outside and the full battalion of staff on hand; I hate to talk shit on servers but, goddamn, dude, we could have walked out with three bags of food.) My tinga torta was OK. Kath, I think, had enchiladas. We both liked my fries. I don't think we'll be going back any time soon, though.
	Blue Door Pub, 26 June 2020 I got the Picnic Blucy, listed on the menu as "colby jack cheese ・ bbq pulled pork ・ chipotle slaw ・ pickles" and Kath got the Mount Blucuvious which is "ghost pepper cheese ・ fried avocado ・ spicy bacon ・ cilantro-lime sauce" and we split a large tater tot with Frogtown Sauce because I wanted to know what Frogtown Sauce was. Turned out to be some kind of weirdo peanut chili sauce. I asked Kath, "Is there a large Asian population in Frogtown*?" She said, "I don't know." I asked, "Why does this represent Frogtown?" We may never know the answer* but our burgers were good even if I'm convinced my cheese evaporated and I appreciate Blue Door Pub's efforts at contactless service and social distancing with their pickup window. Pretty sure I told you before to give them your money, I'll reiterate that here.

* Frogtown is a neighborhood in Saint Paul which, after a cursory Googlin', has a large number of Asian restaurants so maybe that's why.

   We also had Pizza Karma on the third of July. I don't need to include a picture because this is the only time in my entire life that a place's food looked like the picture on the menu. And also I didn't take any pictures. And also the tandoor pizzas (which is what caught my attention, I had the chicken tikka and Kath had the cocnuit shrimp) weren't that good but were thankfully cheap. The appetizers were solid, though.

And now the main event...

Clockwise from bottom:

• Dogo Norteño: Wrapped on bacon and topped with avocado, grilled onions and peppers, cilantro, tomatoes, mustard, ketchup and mayo.
• Dogo Chilango: Wrapped on bacon and topped with tomatoes, onions, queso fresco, sour cream, ketchup and mustard.
• Elote Dogo: Wrapped in bacon covered in mayo, corn, Mexican cheese, sour cream and cilantro.
• Dogo Los Mochis: Tomatoes, onions, bacon, avocado, Mexican cheese, nacho cheese and grilled onions.

   Kath and I were getting hungry and I asked her what she wanted and she didn't know so I started rattling shit off: Italian? Mexican? Chinese? Chili dogs? Buffalo wings? She said it all sounded good and I took that as a challenge to see if I could find her a Mexican chili dog. Instead, I found Hamburguesas El Gordo and, OK, where to begin this beguine?

   First of all, kicking myself for never having been here. The food is fantastic and half the price of a place like Tilt and twice as loaded. Secondly, fuck each and every one of you foamy-mouthed heathens for never telling me about this place. And third, I am definitely going back. Kath says she's going back.

   I showed it to Kath and pitched the idea of getting one of each dog and splitting them so it's like we're getting two dogs each. She was down but then I showed her the tres leches on the desert menu and she was super down. I put in the order on the web and we got in the Kathmobile and headed to 42nd & Cedar.

   So how was it? The Norteño, won't lie, tasted a lot like a Chicago dog but... better. The Chilango was almost too cheesy, like very heavy on the dairy for me but OK. The Elote was cool but I don't think it will be my go-to; it was good and I might be in the mood for it sometime but, eh. The Los Mochis was so similar to the Norteño that I thought they got our order wrong until I caught sight of the nacho cheese distinguishing the two of them. (It tasted like the Norteño but... with... nacho cheese.)

   The staff were masked and the space was cleared out for responsible distancing; only one dude came in without a mask but that's OK because he'll die and then he won't bother anybody.

   And the price tag? Four (loaded) dogs with a tres leches and two Jarritos Toronjas? It was like twenty four something after tax, I rounded up to thirty for the tip.

   Afterward, we went catty-corner to Groovy and I passed on an $18 white label of "No Vaseline" for reasons even I don't understand. And also the only copy of Melvins' Your Choice Live that I've ever seen in the wild for I can't remember if it was $42 or $48 but it was up there.

   Anyway, if you're up for strapping on your mask and you need to get out of the apartment, I highly recommend you give Hamburguesas El Grodo so fucking much of your money. Give Blue Door Pub a little of your money, too. Chicago Taste Authority is a strong maybe. I can't recommend the other two places. But Hamburguesas El Gordo should get your money. Even if you don't like hotdogs, look at the rest of their menu. Then give them your money.