Anyway, not coming here so much to tell you about the gyro again, no. Came here to tell you that I got there and the place was dead (?) aside from one guy in front of me in line who was talking to the two Greek dudes behind the counter. I can’t tell what he was ordering but apparently all he wanted on it was hummus.
The guy at the register says, “OK, you don’t want no [unintelligible]?”
“No, just hummus.”
The guy at the cook’s station asks, “You want some, eh,” he made a hand gesture, “vegetable?”
“No, I don’t like that.”
I’m standing behind this guy thinking, “You don’t like vegetables? Are you five?”*
The guy at the register says, “OK, I’ll give you a plate and I’ll -”
“No no no,” says the guy at the cook station, and off they go in Greek. Guy at the register grabs one of those deli containers that looks like this:
… and guy at the cook station grabs this guy a pita and the register guy fills the deli container with hummus and they put these on a tray and they talk to each other in Greek some more and register guy tries to hook dude up and asks if he’d like a kreatopita, spanokopita, or tiropita, he says, “This one is meat, this one is spinach, and this one is cheese.”
And this fucking goober in front of me asks, “What’s in them again?”
HE JUST FUCKING SAID IT! That’s like if I told you the sky is blue and you look at it and ask what color it is.
So the guy at the register says, “Eh, meat, and this one is spinach, and then this is cheese.”
And this monster has to think about it! Like he was having a goddamned petit mal - maybe he was - for about five seconds before he says, “I like cheese.” So this asshole in the best Greek joint in downtown Minneapolis - voted City Pages Best Gyro in 1997 - walked away from the counter with a pita, a cup of hummus, and a tiropita which he probably didn’t know was called a tiropita.
For real.
Me? I had the gyro and a Mexican Coke. They hooked me up with a slice of sokolotopita (chocolate cake) which I did not know was called sokolotopita until just now. It was good.
I mean, it’s good every time I go there. I imagine one day I’ll get something different from the menu.
* I completely cop to getting a gyro for lunch because I’m sick of steamed veggies for lunch.
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