Detello's Pizza & Pasta, 13 September
How is pizza technically a sandwich? Think of it as an open-faced calzone.
Sometimes, you go on a bike ride and you check where you are on the map app and then you zoom out too far and, whoops! There's a pizzeria.
In Edina.
Like a fucking hour away.
But you look at the menu anyway and they have a pizza with your name on it. So now you have to have it.
And that's how I wound up having the Charlie from Detello's, listed on the menu as:
Alfredo sauce, pepperoni and onion with Rockstar Spices
Doesn't that combination sound bomb? Aside from whatever the hell "rockstar spices" are (we'll get to those in a minute), pepperoni and onion on Alfredo sounds legit.
So, after waiting for a payday, I biked the twenty eight mile round-trip to get myself the ten-inch thin crust Charlie... before going to Kath's sister's wedding where they served pizza at the reception. But we're here to talk about Detello's.
It was, um... I wouldn't bike twenty eight miles round trip for it again. I felt that the Alfredo sauce could have been slathered on a little thicker. "Rock star spices" are really just, um, any cannister of premixed "Italian spice blend" like everybody from McCormick to Penzy's makes.
I hate to say it but I think I would have liked it better if I didn't put so much effort into getting it. I will not tell you to avoid this place. In fact, maybe pick me up on the way there and let me enjoy your car's air conditioning on the way there.
Pepito's Mexigo Deli, 14 September
So, let's get these out of the way:
First. a taco is a sandwich. Fuck you, it's a sandwich. I don't care about your bullshit argument to the contrary, it's a fucking sandwich. Just like a hotdog is a sandwich. Fuck you.
Second, this is, surprisingly, our first Tangletown entry.
Anyway, I was trying to go to North Star Deli again but after spending over twenty bucks (Twenty three? Twenty six? I don't fucking remember.) on the cab to Kath's sister's wedding, I was not in the mood to drop twenty on a sandwich and a pop, particularly when Kath and I had to postpone our Mario's date from the weekend before to next weekend. (I can eat only so many fifteen dollar sandwiches! Why do you think I have the fucking Wendy's app? Because that shit's delicious!? No, it's because it's cheap, you dumbass! I'm not made of money!) So, I one eightied out of their and looked up "cheap lunch near me" and found Pepito's over by Sunstreet Breads.
It was like seven bucks for a taco but it was a big taco.
A big bland taco.
I mean you know I hate the "white people taco night" song, right? It just kind of bugs me for some reason. I mean, I get the term, the term is fine, but that song... Yeesh.
Well, I ate that song, basically.
It was soft tortilla filled with a steak that had never been introduced to a seasoning and topped with shredduce (ugh), diced tomato, and the three cheese blend of shredded cheese. It came with two red sauces, one that was clearly a tomato-based salsa and the other a pepper-based one.
Thankfully, Kath got left over mini-JJ's from the wedding reception at the day-after brunch and I had a beef and a turkey club, so it wasn't like the afternoon was a total loss.
Maybe some people like this place. I don't. I'm not going to sit here and talk trash about it, I'm just going to say I don't like it.
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