Maya, 4 April 2020

   So you've been told to stay at home. Everybody's been told to stay at home. And usually this isn't a problem because you're essential personnel at work so you don't have to put up with all twenty three of your neighbors in your building plus the six across the alley plus the six more across the other alley. You don't know what they get up to during the day, it's fine.
   But then comes the weekend and it's a little warm out so you open the windows and boy oh boy do you regret that because now you know what your neighbors do all day: They slam doors, they slam dumpster lids... Jesus Christ, these people are never done taking out the trash. It's literally like every three minutes. And the kids downstairs are throwing a little shindig that requires constantly going in and out and slam slam SLAM the door keeps going, meanwhile the big scary crust dude downstairs with the battle vest and the dreadlock/mohawk/mullet thing that somebody in the crust scene decided was the uniform haircut and cusses out his cat (he literally loudly violently cusses out his cat for having a weight problem, it is bizarre) is playing a podcast about that Tiger King thing everybody's on about and you're irritable as fuck so your sig-o says, "Let's get out of here," because in the midwest, SAH isn't that strict.
   This howe Kath and I wound up at Hidden Beach sitting on a park bench, looking at Cedar Lake for about an hour, hour and a half, and then Kath got a hankering for Tacos Lupita down in the Wenonah neighborhood but we didn't think it would be open so we wound up going to Kath's sister's purported favorite lunch spot, Maya, up in the Logan Park neighborhood.
   We get there and I suss out that it's a fast cazh sitch. Kath got a chicken quesadilla, I got a tinga burrito and a vegetarian taco. I was thinking about getting a veggie burrito and a tinga taco but I knew I wouldn't be happy with that decision.
   The lady behind the counter built my taco first: Sautéed peppers and potatoes topped with fresh onion and cilantro and finished with a creamy salsa verde.
   This tasted like a salad and I was glad I went with the smaller veggie taco rather than going full burrito. Couldn't tell you anything about the salsa verde, the potatoes seemed a little underdone and, well, it was OK but just OK.
   The tinga burrito was spicy as fughck. I got it in my usual Chipotle arrangement: Rice (here Mexican rice with peas and carrots rather than "white or brown with cilantro and lime"), no beans (you don't want me eating beans), pico, corn, cheese and guac. They said guac was extra, Kath (who was buying) gave me the go-ahead, I said yes, and the lady slammed two huge scoops of guac on the burrito, rolled it up, foiled it shut and rang Kath up.
   The chicken was juicy and tender, appropriately spicy without being overly hot and conspiring with the pico de gallo, made my nose run a little. The rice was fantastic, the veggies were sweet, the guac was creamy... Predictably, this burrito wound up with a "hot side" and a "cold side"; I would've liked for cold creamy guac in the same bite with the hot chicken and rice but that's a complaint I've had forever and I know there's nothing I can do about it.
   Like most places that are open right now, Maya is open for pickup and take out. Do yourself a favor and give them your money. Then go enjoy your food at home. Or in a park. Or wherever you manage to stay away from people.

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