The Cajun House, 16 June 2019
The website mentioned po'boys but under po'boys they had a lobster roll. A lobster roll, like lobster tail smothered in goddamned butter on a hotdog bun. So I ordered that, got it to go, took it to a little park, sat under a tree, and opened the container and - It was a lobster po'boy. As in they deep fried the lobster tail.
It didn't taste bad but... Don't ever deep fry lobster.
At least they gave me the right number of catsup packets for my fries.
Beancounter, 18 June 2019
Miss Janie at the office was pissed off that there was a line at Taco John's on Taco Tuesday and she couldn't get her potato olés, so me, being the nicest guy, decided to go get a six pack and a pound so I could have six tacos and give her the potato olés. I got there and saw the six pack and the pound was like fifteen forty nine and I said,"Nope."
But now I still needed lunch. I passed by Beancounter and saw the sandwich board and they have a Cuban panini - ham, pork, Swiss, pickle, mustard - and I went inside and asked how it was. Dude at the counter said it was good. I said let's do that and I'll take the greens for the side. The gal behind the counter goofed and hooked me up with the fruit mix and I was given greens for free or my order was corrected and I got free fruit - basically I got two sides.
The most memorable part of that lunch.
The sandwich had a little too much mustard and (not pulled) pork and ham was just... pig flavored. It wasn't bad, it was a lot better than their egg and avocado sandwich, but this could have been better.
Dan Kelly's Pub, 21 June 2019
So the Reuben has Guinness-braised corned beef, the Rachael has "pastrami'd" turkey, and as tempting as the Reuben sounded, I had to stick to my diet and I figured that I had a handle on "pastrami'd" turkey; they probably just took some turkey and treated it like beef. How hard is that? More people should get on that.
Let's get down to business: This sandwich is sour (but the coleslaw was wicked sour). The sauerkraut was up front with the vinegar and the thousand island was more tangy than sweet which really made me pucker. The pastrami'd turkey tasted... like spicy turkey. It was its own thing. I wouldn't knock it. Wish I could've tasted it better but that kraut island slaw was just... WHOO!
But the real good-time sensation from intermittently peeing on an electric fence was the caraway rye, loaded with tons of caraway seeds around the crust.
Pita King, 23 June 2019
So Kafe Nasty vouched for this six dollar gyro & fries a couple weeks back and I've been meaning to check it out. Never got around to it, even passed it a few times. Well, today, cycling around aimlessly, I decided to finally check it out.
And I have some issues.
For starters, Kafe Nasty talks so much shit he's got halitosis. I knew this and yet I still took his recommendation.
The eleven to two lunch special is six ninety nine, totaling seven fifty five.
The meat - and this was my bad because I didn't see the chicken option on the menu until after I ordered (but that's OK because I've yet to have a good chicken gyro) - was Steak-umms. You know Steak-umms? What your mom microwaved you in the eighties because y'all was poor. Steak-umms, the faux wood paneling of the frozen food world? Steak-umms? What your grandmother ate while she watched Dallas with her Virginia Slim 120s and a glass of Seagrams 7 on the rocks? Steak-umms, like your uncle ate those three weeks during summer of seventy eight that he tried living out of his conversion van because, hell, it was carpeted, he just needed an extension cord for his microwave and mini-fridge and he'd go inside your grandparents' house to use absolutely anything that required running water? Steak-umms, that the kids with the Super-Nintendo in fifth grade made fun of you for eating? Steak-umms, that you always thought were dog treats? Steak-umms, like a fucking Simpsons joke? You know, Steak-umms. Like what made your aunt make a funny face when she heard it and she was all, "Steak-umms?"
Yes, Aunt Marcia, Steak-umms.
Secondly, the tzatziki left a lot to be desired.
Thirdly, this motherfucker was half lettuce. Half lettuce, a three sixteenths onion, an sixteenth tomato, and a quarter Steak-umms. You know, Steak-umms. It's meat... In Fruit Roll-Up form. Steak-umms, the meat not suitable for canned Vienna sausages. Steak-umms, somehow less appealing than head cheese. Steak-umms, unlike SPAM, require freezing. Steak-umms, actually literally meat but just feels like they should only be technically meat. Steak-umms, your sister's boyfriend's band of meat products.
There're other things on the menu. I guess I could try those, but I can't give this gyro a passing grade.
They didn't give me enough catsup packets for my fries.
Comments
Post a Comment