Sasquatch, 5 June 2019

   I finally got these motherfuckers. Partly because I looked at their website and saw that the reason I always missed them was because they close their truck at one and my lunch doesn't come until one thirty. So what's a sexy young pollotarian to do?
   Duck out for early lunch.
   I got in line and the cutest woman asked me if I was the end of the line and we chatted for a bit about food trucks. I told her I was hoping they do a Rachael and she asked me what that was and I told her it was a Reuben but with turkey and she asked if they had turkey and I said they do and she said they ought to and I said we'd find out and she said she was getting an apple and something with rosemary honey butter. She was nice. It was a pleasant conversation.
   We have seven kids now.
   Anyway, my sandwich comes up and she tells me to enjoy my sandwich and I tell her to enjoy hers and then she gets hers and now we're divorced and I owe hella child support.
   But you don't come here to read about how I'm going to check out Craigslist's Missed Connections later on, you come here for fucking... sandwiches.
   And how was this one?
   Well, to start, the meat was generously piled on. Not quite like Mort's but generous for a downtown food truck. Couldn't quite tell how it was done or how it was seasoned because of the thousand island. The kraut was more mild than sour, so mild that, while I could see it, I couldn't quite taste it. It struggled for equal footing with the tangy and fairly abundant thousand island. It also didn't add much in the way of crispness. So the kraut was kind of a miss. The bread was spongy.
   But the real tragic misunderstanding that leads to five dead and three injured at the hands of the Mankato Mangler in this escape room scenario that Janet insisted on using a Groupon for, ignoring the protests of Tomás, a known claustrophobe, and dismissing Sara's repeated concerns as nothing more than withdrawal-addled paranoia, ending in a plot twist that I refuse to spoil is, spoiler, the rich creamy provolone and not because it's not the traditional Swiss but because Sasquatch used a high-quality or at least higher-than-usual quality cheese that maintained itself on the sandwich but literally nearly melted in my mouth. It was blunt, it was smooth, it was a finely polished shillelagh. It was a bassoon, a tuba, the grounding bass note. It was definitely the best part of this sandwich.
   HOW
   EVER
   Could I say give these guys your money? Based off the cheese alone? Not really. Based off the sandwich as a whole? Mmm... I don't know. It was good. It was a good excuse to take an early lunch. But it wasn't something to lose your mind over. If it came to your workplace, yeah, check them out. I'll give them that. They're worth checking out.

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