The Green & The Grain, 22 May 2019

   Sometimes, you get burned out on the skyway food courts and you just walk around trying to find anything that looks appetizing and you know what? It aint the JJ's and it aint the after-one-o'-clock-discount lowercase c chinese buffet, it aint the pizza that's been sitting under the heat lamps, it aint the burger from the shifty looking Russian cat.
   So I go walking around and I think about Subway because, well, I've lost all desire to be good to myself. And also because the real cute chick there knows my usual sandwich: Foot long rotisserie chicken on nine grain wheat. But am I really feeling Subway? No.
   So I keep walking and I pass the Wuollet and they have a sandwich board that says they have sandwiches so I pop in and, man, those motherfuckers didn't have no sandwiches. So I kept walking and I turn the corner and there's this joint, The Green and the Grain. They do salads and wraps. You know, wraps. Cold burritos. OK. Fuck it. Let's get a cold burrito.
   I picked out the one called the Farmer.
romaine lettuce, herb grilled chicken, local thielen bacon, hard boiled egg, avocado, fresh tomato, red onion, smoked cheddar + ciabatta crouton.
   Not entirely pollotarian friendly with that bacon but, you know, I don't owe you motherfuckers a goddamned thing.
   The recommended dressings were bleu cheese and some kind of ranch. Well, I aint eating bleu cheese because it smells like farts and tastes like acetone and I aint eating ranch because ranch is just straight up fucking buttermilk. I opted for Caesar which is, like, what? Just anchovies or something.
   So, what did this taste like? It tasted like a salad. You ever have a salad? Yeah, this is what it tasted like. Nothing stood out. Not one of those ingredients really stood out and sang to me. It was good, it just wasn't inspiring. So, if you like salad, I'd recommend this place. Sure, give them your money.
   A couple of the staff talked tattoos with me. One of them had a bad-ass full color sleeve and a flower on side of her neck and a sparrow on the other side. That was the best part.

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