This is the Tuscan turkey sandwich from the - deep breath - Eatery by Dunn Bros at HCMC Specialty Clinic and it was eight fucking dollars. For eight fucking dollars, I don't want thin-sliced turkey, I want thick cut carved oven-roasted skin-on turkey breast like at the good Potbelly in the IDS. But, you know, prices.
Please tell me you get that PhoneShop reference.
I tell you, it's hard out here for a pimp, and by pimp, I mean - Well, I forget the backronym I came up with but it has to do with me trying really hard to stick to a polloterian diet.
Anyway, this sandwich is listed on their menu board as...
Oven roasted turkey, Swiss cheese, pesto aioli, Parmesan tomatoes and spring mix on fresh baked ciabatta bread.
I don't know what the fuck Parmesan tomatoes are. I just don't. I don't know if that makes me stupid, frankly don't care.
Approaching this with the assumption that everything here is
... I'm surprised that I can actually taste the cheese over whatever the fuck the Parmesan tomatoes are, which were cold and crisp along with the spring mix, which is just a fancy word for...
Wait for it...
Wait for it...
Wait for it...
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Wait...
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LETTUCE!
But the real world-renown neurosurgeon who has turned to an ill-informed but carefully measured regimen of anti-anxiety medications and corn-mash because he's still haunted by the memory of the only patient he couldn't save - his wife - was the pesto aioli which they thankfully doused this sandwich, slathering it on with a goddamned concrete trowel. It was rich and tangy but honestly could have used more basil sweetness but I'm not grousing. It did the trick. It played nicely with the Swiss cheese.
The turkey? Meh.
I'm not going to tell you to give them your money. It's a fucking chain. But if you find yourself at the clinic on your lunch break because you have to settle up a bill and there's nowhere else to eat except the hospital cafeteria across the street which is decent but their card readers don't jive with your debit card, then you could do worse, like choose to not eat at all at that point. That would be worse. Problem is that you can't do much better either. Well, if the card readers at the hospital cafeteria across the street jived with your debit card, you could get like egg rolls and pizza and taquitos and shit. I had the all beef frank. That was pretty good. But...
I don't even know where I'm going with this anymore.
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