Today is my cheat day.
Once every two weeks, basically pay day, I don't calculate my carbs or sodium. Thirteen days of being super careful and watching milligrams and just knowing my cum tastes bland as fuck. Then, day fourteen comes around, caution is thrown to the wind and watch out, babe, my cum tastes like pickle juice.
ANYhoo, today I decided to splurge and get the - Do I have to call it that? Oh, god. OK. Whatever, fuck it. I got the [shudders] "Seoul Train" burger. I am not going to call it that again because that's a stupid name; going forward I will call it the Korean BBQ burger or some variant thereof. The menu lists it as two quarter pound beef patties, kimchi, wild greens, korean [sic] BBQ sauce, provolone and spicy mayo (after which they add an exclamation point).
In place of the quarter pound beef patties, I opted for those Impossible patties, making it a Korean vegan burger, completely spacing on the provolone. OK, so this was a vegetarian Korean BBQ burger.
Let's make this quick.
I'm not doing the fucking cheese joke again. We know where the fucking cheese came from. We know where the cheese comes from every time. We don't need to -
ANYhoo, today I decided to splurge and get the - Do I have to call it that? Oh, god. OK. Whatever, fuck it. I got the [shudders] "Seoul Train" burger. I am not going to call it that again because that's a stupid name; going forward I will call it the Korean BBQ burger or some variant thereof. The menu lists it as two quarter pound beef patties, kimchi, wild greens, korean [sic] BBQ sauce, provolone and spicy mayo (after which they add an exclamation point).
In place of the quarter pound beef patties, I opted for those Impossible patties, making it a Korean vegan burger, completely spacing on the provolone. OK, so this was a vegetarian Korean BBQ burger.
Let's make this quick.
I'm not doing the fucking cheese joke again. We know where the fucking cheese came from. We know where the cheese comes from every time. We don't need to -
OK. Fuck me.
The kimchi was sour as fughck. There was no getting around it; you had to eat through the half it was applied to (because nobody at My Burger really gives a fuck about condiment distribution). It was bad enough that it really kind of ruined the burger for me. Maybe it's because I've heretofore only had kimchi in Mexasian fusion that it struck me as super sour this time but I don't know, man. This was nasty.
Let's run down the check list here: "korean" BBQ sauce? Couldn't taste it. Spicy mayo? Couldn't taste it. Whatever the fuck wild greens are? Couldn't taste them and they added no texture.
The concept is interesting, the execution was off. I got to taste the BBQ sauce on my fries and it was sweet, like a honey BBQ, and I don't know how it failed to cut through and make this more of a sweet & sour burger.
I don't know, man. I don't know about My Burger. It's a lot of money and what I get never wows me. It's better than Franks-A-Million and it has none of the problems that come with The Burger Place (maybe I'll beat them up in another post, Christ knows they could use a whoopin') but it's just... I don't know. I go there maybe once every few months even though I know better. ♫ I tell myself I will not go even as I drive there. ♫
Please please please tell me you get that reference.
I guess this is what I get for stunt-posting. "Hey, how about I do a vegan Korean BBQ burger so I have something to post about today? Derpaderpaderp!"
Anyway, if you go to My Burger, don't get this burger with the stupid name.
Oh, and if you're Catholic - I mean, I guess you don't have to be Catholic, they're not asking for proof or nothing - but their fish sandwiches are $6.45 on Fridays during Lent, and that's a price that rivals Subway and fish is...
SEE!? SEE!? I'm already justifying going back to a place I'm pretty sure I don't actually like. WHAT THE FUCK IS THE MATTER WITH ME!?
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