A Collection Of The Ones That Should Have Made It To Sandwich Bully (But Got Only As Far As Instagram)

Northbound, 30 May 2016

Original Caption: Reuben from Northbound. Big CHUNKS of fall-apart smoked corned beef; subdued, savory sauerkraut; subtle tang from thousand island sneaks in here and there. Would order again.

Remarks: “Savory” sauerkraut? Was I on fucking thorazine? Since when is sauerkraut savory? Now I have to go back and check this out because I have trouble believing myself.

Finer Meat Co, 18 July 2016

Original Caption: Oh my god oh my god oh my god oh mu god oh my dig ohfvjfcjvvmy god deep breath…
DREAMS!
A REAL cheesesteak, courtesy of Finer Meat Co’s food truck. The brick and mortar location is at 3747 Nicollet. Give these people your money.

Remarks: I was going through a phase where I would caption pictures of food with “DREAMS!” I literally don’t know why and it was only two years ago. But I was legitimately excited to find a legitimate cheesesteak.

Pho Hoa, 2 December 2016

Original Caption: THIS is what a $4 bành mí looks like. Pho Hoa is putting every other bành mí shop on Nicollet on notice.

Remarks: No, it isn’t. No, they aren’t.

My Burger, 13 January 2017

Original Caption: Only reason I went to MyBurger today was because I had a BOGO coupon.
Top: Pepper jack, fried onions, dill pickles, fried egg, and mayo.
Bottom: Swiss, raw onions, sweet pickles, tomato, and BBQ sauce.
I figured there’d be an upcharge for the fried egg but for the BBQ sauce?
Really.

Remarks: I stand by everything in that Instagram caption.

Slice of New York, 17 April 2017

Original Caption: Grabbed Slice of New York’s Italian Beef and I’m saying Sorrento Cucina WHO?
…
Get it? Because it - See, it’s called Sorrento Cucina Due and - It’s a pun. I’m saying they aren’t very good compared to Slice. Though Slice’s au jeus looks like cloudy piss.

Six Comments Down-Thread: Yeah, it gave me food poisoning. I was shitting water the rest of the night so I would advise against it.

Marino’s Deli, 3 June 2017

Original Caption: The Sub Marino, a hybrid Italian hero and meatball sandwich, worth US$52.99, costs not even seven.

Remarks: Man, I’ll still go out of my way to go to Marino’s. Three Meshell Ndegeocello Stars.

Broder’s Cucina Italiana, 24 June 2017

Original Caption: This just proves that happy endings aren’t just for fairy tales, they’re real and true in real life also.
…
Finally had what people have been telling me about when they ask, “But have you had REAL provolone?” and it came on Broders’ South Jersey Hoagie.

Remarks: I’ll find literally any reason to use my favorite quote from Gypsy Rose Blancharde. Google her.

Tiny Diner, 14 November 2017

Remarks: Sad that the best Reuben in Minneapolis (but not the best Reuben in both the Twin Cities) never even got ‘grammed, but that was the only picture I took because I was in a group and I didn’t want to look like a food nerd by taking more than one shot. Hell, I still covertly snap my pics. The red stuff to the side, if I recall correctly, was extra sauerkraut. I think. I’ll have to order it again.