I used to have this boss that was a real asshole. I mean, this was ten years ago so I can also admit that I wanted to fuck the shit out of her but the way she treated subordinates was awful. Still, she was the only woman I ever met whose feet made me run to the bathroom to crank one out on company time.
I know, man, I know.
ANYhoo, her favorite restaurant was Potbelly and so it is that I can’t go into a Potbelly without thinking about my old hot asshole boss.
Today’s Potbelly run was a necessity because I was going to, at the advice of Kafe Nasty, try Sasquatch, a food truck with no menu on its site so through a bit of gumshoeing and speculation and two Facebook photos, I was able to deduce that they have a Reuben. But I had a meeting run too long and the food trucks were gone so I had to go with my second choice, Sexy Bitch Foot’s Fancy Arby Shoppe for their new limited time only Cuban.
There’s nothing to report on, really, unless you’ve never been to a Potbelly. Think of an Arby’s where you spend Chipotle money, a Quizno’s with the decor of a Joe’s Crab Shack, really any fast cazh deli franchise that charges maybe two dollars more than what they should and uses WaCkY FoNtS on their menu board and little tchotchkes all over that say shit like, “You like sandwiches, we make sandwiches, you eat sandwiches, happiness.” That’s a Potbelly.
This was after the lunch rush so I got my Cuban PDQ. The really nice lady behind the counter asked me twice what I wanted on it,I just wanted mustard and pickle. That’s all I needed. It was two dollars more than what it should have been.
How was it?
Well, better than Arby’s, which tastes like a goddamned hot dog, but not as good as say Allie’s or C McGee’s and certainly nowhere near Victor’s 1959. Victor’s 1959 is a Cuban restaurant. Do you think a Quizno’s: The Next Generation is going to make a Cuban on par with that? It was closer to authentic than Max’s Cafe, who always have to twist one little teeny tiny thing to make their sandwich different, so they use sweet pickles which just fucks the whole thing up. They use fucking pesto aioli on their “Bob’s Italian”. Always got to twist one little thing.
Props go to Potbelly for using actual pulled pork, unlike that porkloaf crap that Arby’s uses. The rest is pretty bog standard: Ham, swiss cheese, mustard, pickle. I like their pickle sitch: They slice ‘em length wise. However, they don’t press the sandwich, it just comes on a hoagie roll which goes under a grill open-faced. It’s a fucking Potbelly, don’t expect magic or, you know, Caribbean authenticity. That’s like walking into a Taco Bell and expecting to see aguachile on the menu, then ordering the aguachile, then not enduring six to eight hours of violent liquid defecation after eating Taco Bell aguachile.
However, unlike our hypothetical Taco Bell aguachile, the Potbelly Cuban exists, won’t kill you, and it tastes alright. Just alright but still alright.
I know, man, I know.
ANYhoo, her favorite restaurant was Potbelly and so it is that I can’t go into a Potbelly without thinking about my old hot asshole boss.
Today’s Potbelly run was a necessity because I was going to, at the advice of Kafe Nasty, try Sasquatch, a food truck with no menu on its site so through a bit of gumshoeing and speculation and two Facebook photos, I was able to deduce that they have a Reuben. But I had a meeting run too long and the food trucks were gone so I had to go with my second choice, Sexy Bitch Foot’s Fancy Arby Shoppe for their new limited time only Cuban.
There’s nothing to report on, really, unless you’ve never been to a Potbelly. Think of an Arby’s where you spend Chipotle money, a Quizno’s with the decor of a Joe’s Crab Shack, really any fast cazh deli franchise that charges maybe two dollars more than what they should and uses WaCkY FoNtS on their menu board and little tchotchkes all over that say shit like, “You like sandwiches, we make sandwiches, you eat sandwiches, happiness.” That’s a Potbelly.
This was after the lunch rush so I got my Cuban PDQ. The really nice lady behind the counter asked me twice what I wanted on it,I just wanted mustard and pickle. That’s all I needed. It was two dollars more than what it should have been.
How was it?
Well, better than Arby’s, which tastes like a goddamned hot dog, but not as good as say Allie’s or C McGee’s and certainly nowhere near Victor’s 1959. Victor’s 1959 is a Cuban restaurant. Do you think a Quizno’s: The Next Generation is going to make a Cuban on par with that? It was closer to authentic than Max’s Cafe, who always have to twist one little teeny tiny thing to make their sandwich different, so they use sweet pickles which just fucks the whole thing up. They use fucking pesto aioli on their “Bob’s Italian”. Always got to twist one little thing.
Props go to Potbelly for using actual pulled pork, unlike that porkloaf crap that Arby’s uses. The rest is pretty bog standard: Ham, swiss cheese, mustard, pickle. I like their pickle sitch: They slice ‘em length wise. However, they don’t press the sandwich, it just comes on a hoagie roll which goes under a grill open-faced. It’s a fucking Potbelly, don’t expect magic or, you know, Caribbean authenticity. That’s like walking into a Taco Bell and expecting to see aguachile on the menu, then ordering the aguachile, then not enduring six to eight hours of violent liquid defecation after eating Taco Bell aguachile.
However, unlike our hypothetical Taco Bell aguachile, the Potbelly Cuban exists, won’t kill you, and it tastes alright. Just alright but still alright.
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