Today’s lunch sucked.
I’m not going to say where I got it because every skyway dweller loves the place as evidenced by the out-the-door line and all my coworkers, upon discovering my addiction to shitty egg rolls, told me this was thee place to go.
What did I get? I got the egg roll, vegetable lo mein, and I asked the guy at the counter if recommended the orange or the sesame chicken.
He asked, “Do you like spicy?”
I say, “I can do spicy.”
He said, “I’d go with orange.”
OK, so, first off, the lo mein was good. The egg roll was not shitty but a big pork-stuffed number. I wanted shitty little cabbage-rama Sysco egg rolls. Also, it kind of tasted funny. And the spicy orange chicken? Well, it’s not spicy, it’s only barely orange, and whatever was underneath the breading I’m sure at some point was part of a chicken.
I’m not saying this is the grossest Americanized Chinese I’ve ever had - I’ve certainly had worse - but for the hype and the long wait, I’d expect quality over quantity. What I got was a gigantor egg roll stuffed full of ground pork (Where the fuck was the cabbage? The carrots?), a heap of bland chicken, and a decent lo mein; a ton of meh for a little money. If that’s your thing, cool but me? Nah, fam. Just give me the shitty little Sysco cabbage babies.
Again, I’m not calling them out by name but if you’re in the skyway, woke as fuck to the Americanized Chinese food game, you can probably figure it out. You might even like them. You Minneapolitans are into some perverted shit after all, like vegan butcher shops. And Saint Paul? Don’t think you’re excused.
I’m not going to say where I got it because every skyway dweller loves the place as evidenced by the out-the-door line and all my coworkers, upon discovering my addiction to shitty egg rolls, told me this was thee place to go.
What did I get? I got the egg roll, vegetable lo mein, and I asked the guy at the counter if recommended the orange or the sesame chicken.
He asked, “Do you like spicy?”
I say, “I can do spicy.”
He said, “I’d go with orange.”
OK, so, first off, the lo mein was good. The egg roll was not shitty but a big pork-stuffed number. I wanted shitty little cabbage-rama Sysco egg rolls. Also, it kind of tasted funny. And the spicy orange chicken? Well, it’s not spicy, it’s only barely orange, and whatever was underneath the breading I’m sure at some point was part of a chicken.
I’m not saying this is the grossest Americanized Chinese I’ve ever had - I’ve certainly had worse - but for the hype and the long wait, I’d expect quality over quantity. What I got was a gigantor egg roll stuffed full of ground pork (Where the fuck was the cabbage? The carrots?), a heap of bland chicken, and a decent lo mein; a ton of meh for a little money. If that’s your thing, cool but me? Nah, fam. Just give me the shitty little Sysco cabbage babies.
Again, I’m not calling them out by name but if you’re in the skyway, woke as fuck to the Americanized Chinese food game, you can probably figure it out. You might even like them. You Minneapolitans are into some perverted shit after all, like vegan butcher shops. And Saint Paul? Don’t think you’re excused.
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