Dulono’s, 27 August 2018

This is how big a nine dollar sandwich should be.
And, no, that’s not a typo, this was yesterday’s lunch. I didn’t have time to write a second bully yesterday
This is the Deluxe Italian Hoagie from Dulono’s, billed as: “Ham, Salami & Pepperoni Cheese, Lettuce, Tomato, Onion, Mayo, Special Sauce”. With that punctuation, I’m inclined to believe that this has “salami and pepperoni cheese” on it but let’s not nitpick over commas or lack thereof, let’s get together as a community and ask what the fuck the special sauce is, even though I ate it anyway.
And while it was the only thing I ate yesterday - they really piled on the meat on this thing, it was totally two meals’ worth - I thought there could be some improvements.
Take the bread. It’s not a thin line between chewy and rubbery. For lunch today, I had a veggie slice from the pizzeria in the food court. The crust was chewy, it had stretch and give and gluten. The bread on this sandwich was rubbery, like the skin on the back of my grandma’s hands.
Just kidding. My grandma’s dead.
Both of them. I’m almost forty.
Shit, now I feel bad. I should call my grampa or something.
But, yeah, the bread was rubbery despite being toasted. It was the kind of bread you really had to work at to bite into and pull the bite away from the roll.
Also, we’ve been over this a thousand times here but y’all know how I feel about Lettuce…

I resigned myself to accepting that this is an argument I’m just not going to win a while ago because the rest of the world is sane and I’m the nuts one.
The cheese was flavorless, white, and stretchy, so it was certainly Sysco provolone.
Whatever the fuck the secret sauce was, it added an herbal sweetness to the sandwich.
Overall, it tasted fine. It tasted superior to a chain sub shop Italian hoagie. It tasted better than Allie’s, which is a shame but that’s because Allie’s leans hard on the pickled banana peppers. For real, ham and banana peppers. I’m sure there’s more to it than that but that’s all I remember about it, that says something.
I suppose that if I had to compare it to something, I’d say it was like a really big Arby’s Loaded Italian but sweet.
The fries were bullshit, though. Soft and rubbery and fried together in clumps. They were actually pretty gross.
I suppose that for a similar experience with better fries, a reasonable serving size, and half the price, you could just go to Arby’s.
They have the meats, you know.